We've all seen it; a family disconnected while sitting together. It occurs in restaurants, office lobbies, cars, and in their own homes. While texting has become an immediate way to connect with our children; which seems like a great thing... as with all things we have to pay attention to the balance and to what other connections we have lost along the way.
There is great value for us to reach our kids by just pushing the send button. We are able to receive emergent messages, offer support, and/or protection to our kids with a click of a button. The concern comes when our children stop seeing our eyes connecting with theirs. From the first time their eyes are able to focus and they see a parent's smiling eyes looking back at them, a relationship is being formed. Over time, that connection will either build or diminish based on how we nourish that bond.
Reactive attachment disorder is based on a child not bonding or attaching to a birth parent. We saw it first when children from other countries who had been raised in orphanages and not spoken to, cuddled or nurtured by a birth mom. In the states, our own children are being born with attachment issues because of a disconnect between mom and fetus because of depression issues, drugs, and most recently, due to parents spending less and less quality face time with their kids.
Our kids are being raised by the school system, daycare, other relatives, and often by television and the internet. Parents are grateful for the electronic baby sitters and will routinely allow their face time to diminish while kids are spending most of their after school hours in their rooms with their televisions, game systems and other electronics.
Balance is key. We all enjoy getting immediate answers trough an Internet search and having access to our loved ones quickly. Texting cane be the most optimal way to connect with your kids while they are out and about, but please be aware of building a bond first and making sure that you have meaningful face time with your child every day! If that relationship is not nurtured and your child always sees you texting while answering their questions, or spending all of your time with them in front of your computer, you are missing out on the most important relationship you have right in front of you. You have the power to nurture a child and create a life long bond. That will enhance your life, but it will also bring a child into alignment with their own value. When you look on them with loving eyes and spend time with your child; you are letting them know that they are worthy to be loved. That is key to their success.
Bonding Activities:
- Fix their breakfast
- Eat meals with your child and look at them while you talk to them about the day ahead or the day they have had
- Play board games
- Attend their activities; and watch... so that when they look over at the stands they see you looking at them
- Have open dialogues with your kids on the values you hold
- Put positive notes in their lunch boxes
- Turn off electronics and have family time that you make a priority
- Snuggle time before bed
You are the single most important bond your child will make. Be mindful of the time you spend with them. Set your intention to be there emotionally and physically for your child. You will never regret it and the connection you make will remain in their heart forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment